As months went by,I struggle my way thru work. Becoming a workaholic is everything that I knew that I could be at the time. I just felt like I shouldn't be at home anymore. Despite having lots of people around me, I'd often felt so alone... At times,I can't even shoulder the loneliness on my own... I started to club right after work.. Drink,went for a game of billiard or even just take long walks to the other side of town to have my meals and then back again. Even tho with new friends and old friends around,they somehow or rather knows that I'v not recovered myself from the traumatic experience that I went thru few months back.Anyway,still at the back of my mind,questions about his death still lingers on... And for once,I really felt lost.... Just couldn't figure out where my life is heading to... I quit school,spent on my savings and just be someone whose so clueless about my own future..
Making friends was never really hard for me but at that point of time,I became more quiet. Nothing or no one really matters to me. Not even my family nor my mum. I just want to be alone. Just wants to be by myself most of the times. Even when noises around me never fail to attract attention to others, I'd just keep on ignoring it... To me,Its none of my business to begin with... Late at nights when there are occasions that I won't have any destination after work, I'd rather make myself a pot of coffee and just be sitting down by the staircase that Gary once climbed. My mind was never at ease...there's always something that lingers deep inside me wanting a friend,a familiar voice a person that I used to be close to talking and listening to me..
A neighbor of mine would often be my companion during those nights that I'd have my coffee brewing. Liked me,he too came from one of those "broken up" family.. He'd tell me his day at work once after he got himself settled down from the tiring day at work. He'd tell me stories of his love life.. Interesting thou... Even so,spending time with him always reminds me the best friend that I used to have.. A fling that actually turns comfy once upon a time. A fling that turns friendly and funny once upon a time. A fling that turns to be my bestfriend that I'd always confide in who'd always be there to listen and not to judge.. Those were the days before I lose contact with him for some small issue that was called "relationships".....
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