Well,back to where I stopped here just now....
Months after the whole traumatic incident,the guy has got his sentencing in the courts. 6 years imprisonment and 6 strokes of the cane to be exact. I thought tt life would resume as normal for me,and what I'v realised is just some wishful thinking. Kids in school begin to look at me in a weird way. They don't talk to me like how they used to,what I'v got was just one taunts after the other. To all these,I tried to be immune to it.. I immersed myself towards working after school,I began to slack in all the CCA tt I was in. Life is miserable again!!!!! School was no longer an escape for me,I could't bring myself to enjoy it again... Why must all these happen to me? Why me?? Why...why....???
Eventho my family has stopped all their abusive behaviour,I wasn't comfortable with the niceness. Maybe I'm just so used to all of it thru my younger years. I began to distance myself from all of my surroundings. I seek my old fren from the previous school back. I went clubbing often. Joined a gang and all and established myself as someone whom ppl would fear and respect. I turned astray,wild and all things wrong..... I felt tt I'v let my family down by being in a situation where I'd always be tormented. It just seems so right at tt time to just change,not for the better but instead for the worst as without doing so,ppl ard me have already been judging me. Let there be more witnesses than judges. That's my take at that time. Nothing good could be done,I can't turn back the clock. What ever happens has happened.Months after all that,students in school would often turn to me when it comes to some disagreements within themselves. I'd be the fearful one to them. Even the seniors from the school is not being spared.. I felt a sense of empowerment then. Even teachers can't do anything about it cause apparently I would always managed to conceal my activities well with lots of supporters behind me. These supporters are those tt once upon a time,looked down on me badly..Out of school,I'm still me tho... Still would go to work to earn my money...and mind you,all those money is still for my school allowance,school fees,expenses,clothings and also enjoyments.. I truly enjoyed going to clubs,a game of pool or bowling after work with my colleagues. These are my stress free moments. These are the times when I got to know more ppl from outside of my circle of frens..And one of those ppl actually became the person tt eventho not suddenly but surely did contribute to the way I am now..
By the end of the year, I've already changed my job. I no longer served fast food but instead, I'v discovered the life of being a hotelier.. During those times,kids as young as 14 yrs old are already allowed to work in those food and beverage lines that deals in alcohols.I was one of those. The very 1st hotel that I'v worked in,Grand Hyatt Hotel..Nice place fill with alcohols...hahaha... Met so many ppl whose in the same kind of family situation as me. Even met runaways who doesn't even have a house to go back to. I felt pity for them as I know as a matter of fact how it feels like to be unwanted in by the family. I understood well enough how it is to be abused physically,mentally or even sexually. I felt their woes..... the only best thing tt I could ever do was to take them in and welcomed them into my life liked family. A number of them actually did stayed on with my family for years and years. We are practically became like sisters. All the hardship and fun times are being shared together... As for my own family,they don't really say much abt it cause me and my frens would still be contributing for my family. Its sort of a win win situation for us... And life to me became carefree and better eventho I do still hv school daily...
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