Anyway, let's just cut to the chase here.. Yea.. My new year didn't start off great, its not even close to good. I found out more about my circle of friends that I have that very 1st day of the year. Even so, I guessed at that very young age, love matters more than any friendships around. I ditched my friends, almost all of them. I some how am not ashamed to admit how insecure I am about the relationship that I have. All cause, this guy..he used to be a childhood sweetheart. He used to be a bestfriend when the childhood sweetheart thing doesn't work out. I knew of his past relationships with most of my friends.. I knew what had happen between them, how he'd feel for them, what he'd do for them and even on how he'd touch them. We shared lots of things together as best of friends. Intimate details, our daily lives, our woes, our happiness and even our heartbreak stories. Yes... that's how close i was to him and he was to me. Sometimes, I felt that the reasons my friends are willing to be in a relationship with him is just a way of being able to spite me and gloat for their glories. But everytime, they failed cause he would always tell them that he'll forever be loyal to me as a friend. That is definitely something that I truly am appreciative of him. And I guessed, it's only natural that I'd look for him in my time of darkness... The relationship couldn't have come at in a better time then this. He is my knight in shining armour. Its like I'm finally given a chance to move on and my heart is totally opening up for the guy that I trusted most in life.
Being with him again after so long definitely puts my patience to the tests. As you can see, even in the midst of happiness, I do have occasions that I'd be wanting to strangle someone..hahaha...Its really taking its toll on me, I even broke down in tears once after work coz I felt awfully lonely that everyone at work was avoiding me. I was actually labelled a a back stabber or boyfriend snatcher at work coz everyone thought that I actually snagged him away from my friend. Which of coz, I didn't.. I couldn't take all the sarcasms that was thrown to me at work. The rolling of eyes, the ignorimgs.. It's just so hard to adapt to those things when you are used to the closeness among friends. I caved in and just cried.. I was in love, yes.. but still felt so alone. I'm just so confused. Should I just see life for myself only or for others.. And that's the very first time that I truly felt my mum being a mum.. She consoled me as she was shocked to see me crying so badly. But her words stick to my mind, the very first motherly advise that I needed to hear in my teenage life.. " Just be happy with the one you love, see life for yourself and not others' . They will accept it one day and time will show the truth. "
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